she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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