put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
