I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize