he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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