he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize