You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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