You made me cry and you don't even care
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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