He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
