got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
