Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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