Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
