Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
