After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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