I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
