Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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