I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
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