dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Everyone says I win the strip club
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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