Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
