She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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