Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
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