you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
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Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
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We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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