Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
