Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
