i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
