I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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