i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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