If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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