oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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