If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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