So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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Floor bacon is actually really good
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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