dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
