I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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