Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
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