They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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