I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
