I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
