she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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