i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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