Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
