id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I am midnight drunk by noon
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
