Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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