look no pants
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
