Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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