I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
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You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
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3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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