a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
that is very illegal...i love you.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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