he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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