Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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