I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
