i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
