I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize