capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize