Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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