the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
