so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
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You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
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You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize