drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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