I am full of burrito and curiosity
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
