ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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