we're blogging at a bar
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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