Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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