Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
