Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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