I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize