Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
